So, you know that we generally take Sunday’s off here at the Art of Writing. However, this week my girlfriend found these two articles and sent them to me (Article 1 and Article 2). We were both fairly incensed by Forney’s view of women and his advice to men. I’m not going to write an entire refutation of these articles for a few reasons: 1) I don’t have the time at the moment and 2) I don’t honestly think any healthy, moral person needs these views to be thoroughly refuted, and I doubt that a thorough refutation would have any affect on those who share Forney’s view. Forney’s view of women is prima facie wrong, and his claims that ‘real men’ use systematic physical and emotional abuse to gain compliance from the women in their lives is obviously unhealthy.
An excellent example of this is actually my girlfriend, who does love me passionately (though we have not engaged in any physically intimate activities, nor will we until within the bounds of marriage) and who does choose to submit to me on a regular basis. I use the word choose here intentionally. My girlfriend is one of the strongest, most stubborn women I’ve ever met. She does not submit to me because I have mistreated her (if I did I have little doubt that she would not put up with it), trained her, or forced her in any way. Instead, she submits to me because she trusts me, because I love her and treat her well, and because she loves me and wants me to be happy. Further, she isn’t afraid to disagree with me, to fight with me, to tell me when she thinks I’m wrong, or to try to convince me to change my point of view. Sometimes she does convince me that I’m wrong. Sometimes she doesn’t, but I probably should have listened to her. And sometimes I convince her that she is wrong. Sometimes I don’t, but she probably should have listened to me. Sometimes we have to simply agree to disagree. This is the nature of healthy, functioning relationships. However, regardless of how this plays out, I do everything in my power to love her well, and she does everything in her power to love me well.
She actually pointed out to me the other day that I can come across as somewhat misogynistic at times, so if I have, please don’t lose sight of my primary point. If I am a little misogynistic, even I can see that Forney’s opinion is both dead wrong, and fundamentally damaging to the men who decide to follow him and to the women they engage with. His views might lead to good sex (I have no idea and I’m not honestly interested in venturing an opinion) or a lot of sex (same here), but they will not lead to healthy, happy, or lasting relationships. Further, they will do lasting emotional and psychological damage to the women involved with such men (and in some cases possibly lasting physical damage). They do not represent the views of anything that could reasonably be called ‘real manhood’, nor the views of anything that could truly be called Christianity.